Journal written by accused Seattle Pacific University shooter released

Journal written by accused Seattle Pacific University shooter released
Shooting suspect Aaron Ybarra is led to a court hearing at a King County Jail courtroom Friday, June 6, 2014, in Seattle. Ybarra was arrested in the killing of a 19-year-old student and wounding of two other young people Thursday at Seattle Pacific University. Police say Jon Meis and other students subdued Ybarra until officers arrived and handcuffed him moments later. Meis, the 22-year-old building monitor, pepper-sprayed and tackled the gunman Thursday in Seattle Pacific University's Otto Miller Hall, likely preventing further carnage, according to police and university officials. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)

SEATTLE, Wash. - Aaron Ybarra revealed his innermost thoughts in his journal.

On one page he drew a pentagram, writing underneath "God betrayed them like he betrayed me."

Just over a week before the shooting at Seattle Pacific University, Ybarra wrote, "I will express how I really feel about humanity, America and the world it's self. 2 and a half years of psychotherapy and 2 years in psychiatry and didn't help."

"It's true what they say, when you go through a lot of stress from humiliation for quite a while, you can lose sense of emotion."

The next day, Ybarra wrote, "I gave therapy a shot, but the biggest reason that i went was for to get everyone off my back."

Ybarra continued writing, "I knew something was going wrong and i knew therapy wouldn't do anything."

Two days later, Ybarra mentions getting even with enemies, "if I have time i will try to get my revenge on some of the guys I hate."

Ybarra never writes about the only person he shot and killed, first-year Seattle Pacific student Paul Lee from Beaverton.

Lee’s family let go of any hate for Ybarra. His brother Albert told KATU News in June, “I think there's a lesson in everything. And for me, I think the lesson is to live like Paul in a way where he wasn't afraid to love.”

June 2nd, three days before the shooting, Aaron Ybarra writes about targeting women writing, "I use to always hate violence towards women, but there is no doubt that I'm going to kill quite a few in the shootout."

Finally June 5th, the day of the shooting, Ybarra writes, "This is it! I can't beleive (sic) I'm finally doing this! So exciting I'm jumpy. Since Virginia Tech and Columbine, I've been thinking about those a lot."

Ybarra’s final entry reads, "I'm not asking for forgiveness, because there won't be any but it is what it is. I'm doing some people a favor by sending them to heaven. But those who are sinners like me, I'll see you in hell."